dear girls: boys are not going to run to your house at 3am with flowers. they aren't going to scream that they love you down the hallway. they aren't always going to randomly text you to tell you how beautiful you are. they probably aren't going to sing and dance with you in the rain. yes, they cheat and lie, some of them. but so do girls. stop setting these high fucking expectations and get over the fact that they're not perfect, and neither are you.
Well… two of those things happened sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo this is lies
Well this year has been one hell of a ride. But looking back, overall I think its been a pretty ok year. Definately not the best year, but it hasnt been the worse.
I found love, though I may have lost it. But it was better to have love and to have lost then to have not have it at all. Even though it sucks to lose it :( Oh well I hope things get better.
Besides the relationship part of the year, I had a pretty fun year. Even though most of it was just sitting indoors on my computer and working. But yeah, highlights of the year were probably winning tickets to see Deftones aaaand Ratatat (Which I still cant believe it) besides those shows I also saw Tool for a third time, Deadmau5, Alice In Chains, N.E.R.D, Gorillaz, umm I feel like I’m forgetting one. A few other things I did was traveled to Canada for the Olympics which was awesome. I quite like it there. I went to Comic Con, though I regret my poor decisions. And wish it didnt put a big nail in the coffin of my love life. I was fairly productive with my art… though I did go a few months of just not doing anything. I seem to work better in the winter time.
Anyways it was a pretty alright year, just wish it wasnt ending in such a bad way.
I’m looking forward to a lot this year. I hope I dont slump back into my normal everyday routine of on the computer during the day, work at night. No more of that please.
1. LEARN. TO. DRIVE. for fuck sake I’m 22 and still no license.. Somethings wrong here.
2. GET. NEW. JOB. I like the job I have now, but how do I expect to get anywhere with $9.42 an hour?
3. Do more art.
4. Save Money.
5. Try to be more active.
6. Travel somewhere out of the country.. or just out of state.
7. _____ fill in later when it comes to me.
I hope to achieve more this coming year and stop being a lame bump on a log. Focus on my goals, put relationships on the back burner for awhile till I have time for one with out it getting in the way of things that need to be done.
Anyways, long post is long. No ones gonna read it. If you did kudo’s to you.
Have a good day, and Happy New Years to you all. Wish you all a good one.
But you know what I do, and its not just going to go away in an instant. Thats not how it goes. Cause if it just went, then everything thing that ever happened never ment a thing to me.
It ment more then anyone will ever know, even you, and to just see you leave without just giving a shit hurts like hell. Its not fair to me. Sure I’ll probably get over it eventually, but its going to do some major damage to me. I’m not going to be the same person and I know that. I hate being treated like I was nothing and I was never anything to anyone. It makes me sick to my stomach, and honestly pissed.
I’m so fucking pissed at myself that I let myself out of my comfort zone with a promise that I’d always be happy and never abandoned. I never wanted to be abandoned.. but hey look where taking a big fucking leap of faith got me. In a fucking shit hole.
There’s nothing I can do about it, but fucking cry some more, take a deep breath and try to do baby steps out of this. Lets just hope it doesnt get me back into shit again, and next time listen to my head when it feels like there’s just going to be trouble around the corner so I can avoid just feeling like the worst person in the world all over again.
Anyways, I’ll fucking miss you. I just hope one day when things are better. Maybe we can be friends again.